Andrej, Jessica, Kaiya and Tobi

(Warning: This post is EXTREMELY long. I wanted to document in detail (mainly for myself) the past week and a half as we transitioned our little Kaiya to her new bed.)

Many months ago, after finding out that baby number two would be arriving at the end of May, we decided that Kaiya would need to move out of her crib sometime in early April. We thought that would give her plenty of transition time to a new bed before the baby arrived and took over her beloved crib. It was a relatively easy decision at the time, and one that other parents who had been in a similar situation highly recommended.

At the end of March, my parents were visiting and we got to work on Kaiya's new room. We borrowed a bed frame, box spring and safety rail from friends and bought a mattress. My mom added new sheets, a bed skirt and a pillow. A friend helped me pick out fabric for a duvet cover that would match the curtains from Kaiya's nursery, and then she made a beautiful pink and white gingham cover for Kaiya. The big girl bed was ready weeks ago, but Andrej and I were anything but ready to give the bed a try.

Each day someone would ask if we had moved Kaiya to her big girl bed and the answer was always not yet. Finally, a week and a half ago I got an unusual burst of energy and decided that it was time for the transition. Kaiya helped me move her dresser, curtains, toy basket and book table from the nursery into what we had been calling her "big girl room" since March. The time had come whether we were ready or not.

After lunch was over and Kaiya was in fresh diaper and ready for a nap, we headed down the hallway to her new room. We had been talking about it all morning, but I reminded her again that she was going to sleep in her new big girl bed for her nap. I also reminded her of the rules of no standing in her bed and no getting out of the bed. I had decided not to move her rocking chair into the room because first of all we will need it in the nursery when the baby arrives and secondly reading books in the rocking chair has become increasingly uncomfortable with my expanding belly. I was excited to start a new routine of reading books in bed instead.

The major lesson I learned from that first day was when a routine is already established it's probably best to continue that during the transition time just to make it as normal as possible. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way. Kaiya and I snuggled in bed and started reading her first story when she suddenly had no interest in laying still and reading the book. She wanted to crawl around on the bed and play with the other books she had chosen. My frustration was growing so I told her we were all done with books and if she would lay down I would sing her a few songs before I left her to nap. She continued to play so I stood up from the bed, raised the safety rail, kissed her goodnight and left the room. Clearly the new routine had not sent the message that it was time to nap and she was confused as to why I left and she started howling.

Kaiya is a great sleeper. She LOVES her crib and never puts up a fight when sleepy time rolls around. She may play in her crib for a little while before drifting off into dreamland, but protesting is pretty much non-existent. In the new bed she stood in the middle of the bed clutching her bear, blanket and bunny screaming and crying, "Mama! Get Out! Get Out! Get Out!" I endured this fit for an hour (listening on the other side of the door) and decided to go in and tell her to lay down and go to sleep.

When I went in she had a poopy diaper, so I took her out of the bed and into the nursery to change her. This was mistake number two because as soon as she saw her crib she started screaming. "Ont (want) criby, Ont criby!" I told her no that she was a big girl and needed to sleep in her new bed. I took her back to her new room and put her back in bed and told her not to get up that she needed to go to sleep. Half an hour later she was still standing in the middle of the bed screaming and crying, "Get out! Seep (sleep) criby!" I broke. I had had enough so I went in and took her out of the bed and put her in the crib. She was sound asleep a few minutes later. Attempt number one had failed.

When Andrej got home I told him all about the experience (he was shocked I even tried) and anytime Kaiya heard the word sleep or big girl bed she would start whining about sleeping in her crib. This went on during dinner and anytime she thought about bedtime she would get anxious and start crying. I really began to feel guilty about wanting her to make this transition. She obviously wasn't ready and maybe we should just let her stay in the crib until a few months after the baby is born. We have a bassinet and a pack-n-play that the baby could sleep in and she could keep her crib.

During dinner she was so nervous and no matter how exciting we tried to make being a "big girl" sound, her only response was, "Seep criby. Ont criby." It was enough to break even the strongest mama's heart, so I finally told her that she could sleep in her crib. Attempt number two had failed even before we began.

The next morning I woke up debating if I should even try the new sleeping arrangement during her nap. Partly because of how horrible day one was, and partly because on Tuesdays and Wednesdays I keep my friend's 7 month old and wasn't sure I would have the energy to deal with Kaiya's anxiety and screaming during nap time and caring for the baby. However, the evening before, Andrej had moved our video monitor out of the nursery and into Kaiya's new room just in case we talked her into sleeping in there. We would much rather be able to see what she's up to in the new bed where she could possibly get hurt as opposed to the crib where she is absolutely fine. I thought with the camera in place I could just let her scream the entire nap time and be able to watch her so she wouldn't get hurt. I also moved the rocking chair into the new room so that we could at least do our nap routine exactly as we do it in the nursery.

After lunch and a fresh diaper we headed into the big girl room. Kaiya started whining immediately for the crib, but I distracted her with the books. After reading a few books and singing a few songs I reminded her of the big girl bed rules. I tucked her in promising one more song if she would lay down. She complied and I sang the last song while rubbing her back just as I do when she is in her crib. I then kissed her and told her night-night and left the room.

As soon as the door closed behind me the screaming started just as the day before with request to get out and sleep in her crib. I watched the monitor as she stood clutching her loveys and crying. I was so mad at myself for forcing her to go through this when she clearly wasn't ready. I prayed that she would at least lay down even if she didn't go to sleep because I was so afraid she would fall out of the bed from where she was standing. Finally, after half an hour of screaming she fell down and curled into a ball. She let out a few more whimpers but essentially gave up and fell asleep. I was so excited I ran and called Andrej. She didn't sleep long, only about an hour (usually she sleeps two hours) and woke up screaming to get out, but I was so happy she actually slept. I went in to get her and showered her with praise and told her how proud I was that she slept in her big girl bed. She seemed a little proud too. Attempt number three was a success.

That evening as bedtime approached, Kaiya's anxiety level increased and she would just start crying out of the blue and when asked what was wrong she would say with the saddest face, "Seep criby." We continued to talk up the new bed and her new room in hopes that she would get excited. We reminded her of how great she did during her nap and that she would be fine. All the while we both had huge lumps in our own throats just thinking about her first night in the bed. Naps are one thing, but all night is another. However, we followed our normal bedtime routine and I tucked her into the new bed, kissed her goodnight and left the room. She started to cry as soon as the door closed, but she didn't stand up. In fact she stayed in the same position she was in when I tucked her in, she was just crying. She cried for about ten minutes and then silence. She was sound asleep.

Periodically, we checked the monitor throughout the rest of the evening and just before we went to bed she was still sleeping in pretty much the same place where she started. This was surprising because usually Kaiya is all over her crib, rolling from top to bottom. Relieved and thankful for how well the evening had gone, we turned off the monitor and went to bed. I however couldn't sleep. This is unfortunately quite normal thanks to the size of my very pregnant body and the fact that the baby loves to get his workout in right around the time I get into the most comfortable sleeping position.

Around 11:00 pm, I got up and headed into the living room to watch TV. After one episode of Scrubs, I was pretty tired and the baby had settled so I headed back to bed. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard a loud and unfamiliar noise. I quickly flipped the monitor on as I thought it sounded like Kaiya hitting the safety rail on the side of the bed. Sure enough through my sleepy eyes I watched Kaiya root herself to the top of the rail and before I could even sit up there was a huge thump as Kaiya went head first off the bed through the tiny open space that was between the rail and the top of the bed.

I had intentionally left the space for her to climb in and out of the bed. It wasn't very big, but obviously big enough. I had also put a pillow there thinking it would stop her from even getting to that space, but I was wrong. The loud thump of her hitting the floor was followed by a wail of "maaaaaaamaaaaa," and Andrej was jolted out of a deep sleep. I told him what happened as I was heading to the door. I ran into her room and scooped her up. She wasn't crying so I put her back over in bed and rubbed her back and planted little kisses on her head. I don't think she really ever woke up because she didn't cry or protest just drifted back off to sleep.

When I returned to our room, Andrej was watching the monitor. We began debating what to do as she was already rooting towards that same spot. I was shaking and angry at myself for leaving the open space. We decided to go in and move the rail closer to the top of the bed and put one more pillow to block her from reaching that corner. Kaiya opened her eyes and watched us make the changes, but never made a single noise. I was shocked that she didn't wake up and want out of the bed. After we were finished, I kissed her one more time and told her night-night and we left the room. She was back asleep in no time.

I however could NOT go back to sleep. I tossed and turned and with every noise I heard I flipped on the monitor to see where she was. I just knew she was going to fall out again. I was finally able to fall asleep around 4:00 am., but still checked the monitor each time I went to the bathroom. When Kaiya called out for me it was almost 9:00 am, and I breathed a sigh of relief that we had actually survived our first night with her in the big girl bed. Attempt number four was a bit bumpy but overall very successful.

The next few days that followed involved a lot of whining to sleep in her crib anytime we talked about the big girl bed or when it was time to sleep. However, the protesting and crying once I left the room slowly diminished. She even began playing in her bed a little upon waking instead of demanding to "Get Out!" We have tried to make playing in the room top priority so the room is fun and feels more like it's hers. I lower the safety rail and make her bed as soon as she wakes up so she can climb up on the bed to read books or play. She really does like it, but is sad when she sees her crib. We've thought about taking it apart for a few weeks so it can be out of sight, out of mind, but neither Andrej nor I have the energy.

Each day gets a little easier, and although I check the monitor many times throughout the night, I too am able to sleep without worrying that she is going to fall out at any moment. She pretty much sleeps on the pillow or close by and has never tried to climb out with the safety rail in place. A week and a half later, I know we are still in transition but I'm so thankful that we've gotten past the difficult stage of her screaming and crying in protest. Hopefully, over the next few weeks she will continue to adjust and not put up a fight when her baby brother moves into her crib. Overall, the transition hasn't been too bad. It defintely wasn't as easy as I had imagined it months ago, but so far we are all doing good. I am so proud of our Kaiya!